Well Today I Have To Go On A Pokemon Journey And
by s00thsayr
Summary: Then I have to go and restock all my mocha because I'm running low. Better take my newly discovered Peg pokemon with me: Pegawooda. I hope he evolves into Pegametallica soon!
1. Chapter 1

AN: I am 14 and I go to high school and english is my favourite subject and I DO have a gimpy leg but that's okay cause you can't see it. ANYWAY HERE is DA STORRRYYYYYy yyhh

Peg forcibly removed her hand from Pikachu's jiggAMbob (Pikachu's cunt, lawl).

Pikachu: Pika-piii!

Peg: Okay now it's time to begin our Pokemon journey! But I need to haves Mocha first. Mother only gave me five pokedollars so I can only buy one. For food, I shall take a handful of someone else's nutrigrain. My leg hurts.

Pikachu: PIKA!

Then Peg caught a Jynx and forced the jiggAMbob to clean her temple (AKA: cunt fkn lawl!).

Mother: Kelly/Peg! Every boy leaves home one day it said so on the TV so FUCK OFFFFFFF!

Then she ACTUALLY began her journey.

Peg: 'Ahhh Route 1 and a mocha what more could I want?' she said to herself as she walked to her and then she did that.

Nigger: WElcome 2 da pokemart! Can u give dis to Professor Fern? It's a fern tree, get it? It's a pun cause her name is Fern. Some people call her the Pokemon Prof! And she calls them all cunts cause she can't remember anyone's names especially her grandson Gayr.

Peg: One mocha, please! I could really use the caffeine. I have to go to a three hour tutorial. Then she went to the library for about four hours and then to another tutorial and went home to watch Stargate Atlantis.

'Peg! What the actual FUCK are you doing home?' Peg's mother whispered. 'I thort you were going on a pokemans adventure like in that video computer playstation you are always playing. Now help me send a textual message to your father. Or will he get reception underground? Remember: he's dead and we buried him last week. You really upset him by being born with that gimpy leg. Ah poor gentleman. How. Soon. Was. He. STIFLED! Isn't it weird that we only buried him last week but he's been dead for your age minus one day? That's an easy way to remember when he died. It'll also remind you that it's all your fault.' She had whispered that whole sentence so Peg didn't even hear but Geodude did.

The Geodude suddenly evolved into Golem because Peg hacked reality because she had no friends to trade with. It's funny that she didn't fix up her fucking leg at the same time. I guess she doesn't really think there's anything wrong with it. But why does she always bring it up? '"I guess I like the attention" she thought to herself,' Peg said because she does this annoying thing where she talks about herself in third person. Anyway bak 2 da story.

'HAI PROFESSOR FERN! Here's your Fern tree' is what she would say to Professor Fern when she would get to Periodreddriedtobrown City. Unfortunately for Peg her peg leg was giving her grief and she would not arrive for days. In the meantime she could catch some more POKEMANSSS.

A wild jiggAMbob appeared. It is already paralysed. Peg used PRLZ heal. On herself. It was supereffective. She had to do this often kind of like insulin for diabetics. In fact, she probably was going to get type II one of these days because she drank soooo much fkn mocha. jiggAMbob used Hyper Beam but it missed (don't you just hate when that happens?) and had to recharge. During that brief reprieve Kelly booted up her portable DVD player and began to watch Stargate Atlantic City.

Suddenly a wild Team Rocket appeared jumping down gracefully from the back of its Kakuna and Metapod combined who had just flown the Team Rocket from Atlantis. They were unappreciative of the ridiculous show PEg was watching so they got out a lead pipe and began to beat her. All of this happened on her wooden Peg leg so she accidentally didn't feel anything. Unfortunately the leg became very unstable. Team Rocket assumed they had killed her because she had fallen asleep from drinking too much Mocha (ie: caffeine overdose). Before the wild Team Rocket it grated some cheese on her leg to make a dairy free cheese fondue something etc.

Peg woke up with come on her face. While she had been asleep a masked figure had crept up to her and poured a vial of semen on her face. The label on the vial had said "Daddy's sperm 04/12'. The mask slipped and it turns out it was Peg's mother. 'That's for being "Born Dis Way"!' she typed on her phone and then messaged it to her post-widow-lesbian-phase girlfriend. ie: Peg, her daughter. Fortunately, Peg always slept standing up. There was a locking mechanism on her pegleg kind of like a horse and the come slid down into her welcoming vagina. It fertilised the egg and she was now pregnant. Therefore, she became known as Preg.

To satisfy her pregnant cravings for Stargate and Mocha ('wait a sec, doesn't she always like that stuff?' Preg the narrator thought to herself) she had a masty. The baby felt the unwelcome intruder to the vagina and attacked the hand. It dissolved and she bought a hook to replace it from her friend Dawn who previously wore it as a prosthetic nose but was done with it now because she was no longer a 'professional can opener' anymore.

Meanwhile, Preg's reanimated father who was now blind walked into a magikarp's cunt and said 'Helllooooo ladies!'. Meanwhile back at the ranch Preg woke up and continued Feminism, the neverending journey. She hopped on her Pokemon egg thinking it was her Pidgeot and broke it. A half formed Ditto emerged from the egg and cried: 'DIT!' and tried to morph into a woman. It ended up only being able to form half of the body well so the end result was this mis-shapen peg-legged lump. Story of Peg's LIFE.

Suddenly Preg gave birth to a deformed mis-shapen lump baby. Because her dad was a vampire, Peg's child was like Renesfag from Twilight and grew up really fast. The trio comprised of ex-Preg, Ditto, and Peg 2.0 (the babby) all made their way to Periodreddriedandbrown Town. But first they went Downtown. On each other. When they fell asleep after their orgy, another trainer came up and played the Pokeflute to wake the seemingly sleeping Snorlax up. Funnily enough Preg DID wake up and ran as fast as she could to Periodred Town with the fern for Fern. It took her 2 years.

In that time a lot had changed in the world. Her dad was still roaming the world and her mother was still sending her dirty texts and though Bugcatcher Wade had defeated the Elite 4 several times, they still spouted the same dialogue EVERY FUCKING TIME. If he defeated them one thousand more times he would get access to a rocket launcher which could destroy walls and thne he could catch as many Celebiis as he wanted.

'"Oh Professor! I finally made it to Periodred Town!". Yes. That would be the perfect thing to say to the Professor when I go to her lab and give her this fern tree' she thought to herself whilst sipping a Mocha and watching Stargate Atlanis' said Peg. Peg could see the lab in the distance. Unfortunately for our hero, there was a Snorlax blocking the way. She threw her new Javelin-leg at it and it shattered. It turns out it was just a GIANT MIRROR. In truth, the lab was BEHIND HER, back she'd come from. It was then that she realised that Professor Fern was actually her mother. You see, her mother was extremely passive aggressive and angry over the loss of her re-animated husband so she had sent Peg out on this journey in an effort to make her leg hurt. Previously she had just done the Team Rocket thing and beaten her with a stale Nutella baguette but what she really wanted was to inflict a slow and painful pain on her beloved daughter. Then she took off her mask and lo and behold it was Professor Oak. '

'Yes, readers, you may wonder how an old man can give birth to a girl like Peg' Peg said to herself, 'I too wonder about that every day. I also wonder if I will ever find love or die alone.' Preg jumped on her new Pokemon egg accidentally thinking it was a shell guarding a Mocha hoard. The barely formed Jynx baby oozed out of the cracks of the egg and Peg assumed it WAS Mocha and drank it up. Then she called the old Jynx that she had got to clean her snatch and asked them to kindly just bring the car round and pick up that would be great you're a darl. The Jynx couldn't understand english because she was a jiggaboo. Therefore Peg asked her friend from uni Norm and asked her for a lift.

He came. On her face. Then she gave the fern to Fern, her mother, and said 'It's a fern, GET IT?'

Then Professor Fern gave her a peg and said 'It's a peg, GET IT?'

'I don't get it, Peg cried' said Peg to herself. Then she reflected on her life and her body. Were people calling her Peg behind her back because of her gimpy leg? What else hadn't she realised … that she was socially awkward and stuff? These realisations really hit home and in that moment she decided to reform and be a non-annoying person.

'But I'll just finish this mocha first, she thought to herself' Peg tought to herself. Pikachu is her best friend.

THE END


	2. Chapter 5

Peg pulled her prosthetic dick out of Pikachu's cunt. After detaching it from her leg orifice thing she reattached her cheese grater but accidentally put it on her vagina instead.

'Oh! This is all so cuntfusing!' Peg the virgin cried. Suddenly Pikachu orgasmed in relief (ie: after Peg had left it da fuk alone!) and the resulting Thundershock animated the cheese grater in Peg's cunt. It whirled about and began to shred her womb. Of all the tragedies of all the ages there was none as great or tragic as the tragedy of Peg's womb. Now she would be unable to have children and it was a shame because I, personally, would love to see her babies and I'm sure she'll get a guy to get her pregnant and if not then she should at least ingest the sperm of an astrophysicist because with his mind and her body. Fuck. I don't even wanna THINK about it.

SUDDENLY a wild Lucille 'Liezel' von Snatch appeared.

'I'll be your surrogate mother, Kelly!' she cried. Liezel's vagina had braces to straighten out her cunt teeth and at the moment they were picking up Triple J. Suddenly Luce's mother Maria von Snatch appeared in android form and laser eyed Liezel's vagina to the Christian Rock station. The current DJ was Matthew 'Fat Tub with a Red Face' Tlcoosozccek and it was question time:

Matthew: Hey, Matthew! Is it true you've only ever rooted 15 year olds?

Matthew (cuntinued): NO! I SWARE! I've only ever rooted 8 year olds. The Nazis made me do it because I am also Polish and when I was on a concentration camp I found myself really hungry and for an extra two drumsticks on top of my staple twelve Hitler forced me to make love to an eight year old boy. It was pretty much RAPE because I wasn't really consenting. They boy must have loved it though.

Satisfied, Mrs von Snatch cried 'Oh Liezel darling I'll talk to you later. PS: MUAHAHHAHA!' although it was in binary and Liezel couldn't understand because she chose not to believe in bis. After her mother teleported away, as that was her perferred form of transport, Liezel decided she REALLY WANTED to see her boyfriend 汉字/漢字. To do that, she would need to catch a train to China and would have to drive to the airport. Unfortunately, as Liezel discovered when she got into her car, Peg was Snorlaxing and had blocked her in. Because she was only a secondary character, Liezel suddenly dropped dead. I think she found out she was a lesbian because she had a 'gurlz only' plaque soldered onto her vagina and she just couldn' compute.

Peg woke up and decided that it would be advantageous if she could inhabit this empty android shell. It would be a difficult adjustment, yes, as Peg was only used to having wooden bits attached to her body: the Peg leg which was actually a wooden cheese grater. 'But, Steve, I practised today and I think I can just make it up the stairs of the stage … if I CRAWL.'

Abandoning Lucy, Peg began to crawl to the next town on her pokemon journey. It was called Pirate Town. As she limped through the city gate all the pirates turned and gaped at her gait assuming they were making fun of her. They ran to the nearest ship to find supplies to through at the mocking cunt. A nutri grain shipment had just arrived and they threw handfuls of the stuff at her. Like a raptor, Peg nimbly and spastically ate it ALL. When finished, her head turned lustily back towards the ship. Step. Clump. Step. Clump. She made her way towards the ship eager for more nutrigrain but instead all she found was Nutella. She pulled out her arsenal of Peg legs and chose the digeridoo feature. Attaching it to her butt, she slurped up all the Nutella that was there. Unfortunately for Nutella lovers, Peg had had a LOT of Mocha that day and the milk solids were pushing down her sphincter. As a result, the Nutella simply fell out of her ass again back into all the jars. Because she was a totally considerate person, Peg resealed all of the jars and sent them off to Australia for sale.

'Now that that is done it is time for some REALY work to get done. I will spend FIVE HOURS on my essay.'

wiki/Ancient_rome

**Ancient Rome** was a thriving civilization that began growing on the Italian Peninsula as early as the 8th century BC. Located along the Mediterranean Sea and centered on the city of Rome, it expanded to become one of the largest empires in the ancient world.[1]

In its approximately twelve centuries of existence, Roman civilization shifted from a monarchy to an aristocratic republic to an increasingly autocratic empire. Through conquest and assimilation, it came to dominate Southern Europe, Western Europe, Asia Minor, North Africa and parts of Eastern Europe. Rome was preponderant throughout the Mediterranean region, and was one of the most powerful entities of the ancient world. It is often grouped into "Classical Antiquity" together with ancient Greece, and their similar cultures and societies are known as the Greco-Roman world.

The Romans are still remembered today, including such names as Julius Caesar, Cicero, and Horace. Ancient Roman society contributed greatly to government, politics, warfare, art, literature, architecture, technology, religion, and language in the Western world. A civilization highly developed for its time, Rome professionalized and greatly expanded its military and created a system of government called _res publica_, the inspiration for some modern republics[2][3][4] such as the United States and France. It achieved impressive technological and architectural feats, such as the construction of an extensive system of aqueducts and roads, as well as large monuments, palaces, and public facilities.

By the end of the Republic, Rome had conquered the lands around the Mediterranean and beyond: its domain extended from the Atlantic to Judaea and from the mouth of the Rhine to North Africa. In the Empire, Rome entered in its golden times at the hands of Augustus Caesar. Under Trajan, the Empire reached its territorial peak. The republican values started to decline in the imperial times, and civil wars became the common ritual for a new emperor's rise.[5][6][7]

Plagued by internal instability and attacked by various migrating peoples, the western part of the empire broke up into independent kingdoms in the 5th century. This splintering is a landmark historians use to divide the ancient period ofuniversal history from the medieval era ("Dark Ages" of Europe). The Eastern Roman Empire survived this crisis and was governed from Constantinople after the division of the Empire. It comprised Greece, the Balkans, Asia Minor, Syria andEgypt. Despite the later loss of Syria and Egypt to the Arab-Islamic Empire, the Eastern Roman Empire continued for anothermillennium, until its remnants were finally annexed by the emerging Turkish Ottoman Empire. This eastern, Christian, medieval stage of the Empire is usually called the Byzantine Empire by historians.

Peg got a special disability mark and got a HIGH DISTICNTION in classical history from the Special University of Pokeland.

In the week off before her graduation, Peg prepared her valedictory speech:

Week off... bah! Those are for weaklings! I may not have classes to attend, but two all day rehearsals (YAY!), four assignments (...!), and the likelyhood of Dad keeping me very busy with family stuff means that quality time with my Mind Palace will be at a premium. That shall not stop me from observing my choco!fest ritual of Stargate, MacGyver, caffeine, and chocolate over this weekend.

Just have to get through these next two days first! :D

Rebecca Norman clapped. As in: she got the clap. And died.

'Oh dear I guess I'm going to have to limp all the way to uni today. I asked mum for a lift and instead she threw eighty five cent pieces at me. I counted them: four dollars! Just enough for a !'

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	3. Chapter 3

HEY GURL

HEY GUYS

CAN'T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT INSTALLMENT

Peg zipped up her SCUBA suit, which had been very specifically tailored to her 'body', and dove into her freshly renovated cunt.

'Mmmm! Pine fresh!' she cried as she ate the prosthetic wood leg thing that had been jammed up there for safekeeping.

'It's beaver time! and by that I don't mean that I like to gnaw on wood I just like to lick a sticky beaver. A cunt,' she assured you, the unwilling reader.

Afterwards she used one of Farfetch'd's leek things to pick all the metal shards out of her teeth that had become lodged in there after eating out her wooden leg.

She looked at her bloated disgusting fat reflection in the spoon of a nearby Alakazam. The spoon was all bent and shit so she actually looked thin.

'WOW I LOOK AMAZING but I am upside down. Guess I'd better go to the gym,' Peg said, quoting her absent mother.

Suddenly her mother appeared and asked to borrow some fat for her cooking class that she was taking with her dead husband to rekindle their sex life. They had always eaten dinner whilst fucking but accidentally dropped a cheese grater into Peg's mum's vagina before she was born and were terrified of making the same mistake before. The mistake was actually Peg. Anyway she got out a Magikarp to suck out the fat but Magikarp sucks so it couldn't suck it. She recalled the episode of Pokemans (I'm being metafictional here) where James kicked his Magikarp and ti evolved into Gyrados and thought ZoMg I wAnTs OnE!#12 so began kicking at her Magikarp which used Splash in defence. Unfortunately Peg was trying to hide from the guys at Fitness First who were trying to sign her up for the gym so she had cut open the Magikarp with her trusty pocket machete and had scooped out all that fish flesh inside and was hiding in the dead carcass. As she felt her mother kick her, Peg became enraged and beganto evolve into …

A SUDOWOODO! Because she has a wooden leg. SUDOWOODO? THE TREE POKEMAN I KNOW ODD CHOICE THAT'SHE HAS A WOODEN LEGS ALL I'M SAYING I NOTICED

TALKING ME TO? I WON'T, OKAY GURL I PROMISE. I'M ENJOYING THIS IMMENSELY Peg cried as she drank a Mocha.

With all this newfound energy, she suddenly fell asleep and was blocking the path between like twenty of the Routes. Don't delete the textabove. I'm going to publish it. (amirite Charmaine? How is Mexico going? Have you been Spain city yet?)

The pokemon trainer Rebecca Norman was making her way back to her retirement village and came across the Sudowoodo. Adjusting her bifocals, she looked at the tree thing and thought 'That looks a lot like my dear friend Peg!' without actually realising that her friend had evolved into the Pokemon (how ironic!). She reflected on the amazing times she had spent in her heydey with dear Peg and the time that she had gone into a Mocha coma. Her skin had discoloured brown and all the caffeine had rushed to her wooden leg and excited it to sprout branches. She had beenso worried about her friend that she had pee peed in her pants. Shocked and shamed with her geriatric behavior, Rebecca Norman had tried to hide the evidence by washing her XXXXXL panties in the Magikrap fish farm and then hanging them to dry on her comatose 'friend'. Peg had woken up instantly after the moisture had touched her, which foreshadowed the evolution into Sudowoodo. With this memory, the senile and altshzheimer-y Rebecca Norman got ready to piss on the tree. She pulled out her cathater and aimed it at Peg. A torrent of piss equivalent to Hydro Pump from a Blastoise sprayed and hit Peg. She fainted as she was aSudowoodo tree/rock pokemon and her rock peg leg fainted from rust. She was still blocking the passageway and was fainted instead of comatose and she is also a Snorlax.

Rebecca Norman felt guilty so she used her Charizard to dry off Peg.

'CHARIZARD USE YOUR MOST POWERFUL FIREBLAST EVER!' It did and Peg ran off burnign and screming through the endangered forests of Africa and burn them down and she was like 'ZOMG I AM LIKE AN EXTRA CRUNCHY SMITHS CRISP BUT I PREFER KETTLE BECAUSE THEY HAVE MORE FAT AND I NEED TO MAINTAIN MY FIGURE AS PER MY MODELING CONTRACT WITH DIABETES AUSTRALIA!'

When she arrived at the Gym in Oopsihadanaccidentbrown City, Peg got exhausted just looking at all the exercise equipment and had to have a stress nap. She sat down at the nearest see saw and sent a bunch of children to blasting off again. Let's not even talk about the kid that was on HER side of the seesaw. Let's just say he see saw a lot more than he ever bargained for. ie: Peg's snatch.

WHERE TO FROM HERE?

TO THEGYM OF COURSE!

I mean to the next course: a mains of roastnutri grain and Mocha! before I 'Tackle' the next gym. blah blah blah she was fighting the gym. Unfortunatley she hadn't actually caught any Pokemon so she had to fight herself!

Peg used Leer. and she also did this weird fucked up annoying thing where she sort of licks her lips and sticks her tongue in and out of her mouth. I think the move is called 'Lick' and she paralysed the leader's Magnemite. Unfortunately (that word belongs in her life. It was actually the first word in her birth certificate) Magnemite had Static and Peg became paralysed. With the shock of the Shock her cheese grater leg evolved into a Steelix (it was an Onix before and peg had beenwearingher stylish Metal Coat when her mum had tradedher for a packet of Twix and she had evolved by trade good on ya mom! Pegleg's the one! (sidenote: Peg actually stole back the Twix cause she is fat and wants food and the Diabetes Australia took a picture of her eating and sent it as a scared straight campaign to all school children. There is no more obesity worldwide. Actually anorexia is at an alltime high.)) Suddenly Peg screamed

'SSSTTTTOOOPPPP!' and everyone stopped. She said:

'Hey. Can I wear my beret for this battle? I just got it at Target and I think it would really suit my character!

Gymleader: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Artists rendition of peg with beret: D8- )))) (so it's beret, eyes, nose, 'Lick' and hairs of chinny chin chins) Actually Peg was sudowoodly reminded (because she can read everything we're typing) ofthat song from Mary Poppins Chim chimany.

Chim chiminey

Chim chiminey

Chim chim cher-ee!

A peg is as lucky

As lucky can be

Mary Poppins appeared by default and said 'I didn't have you PEGGED as a good singer, Peg. Iwill help you!' and she used her umbrella to create a giant magnetic field from the Magnemite's Thunder attack (?) and she flew to Peg's cunt and centredthe field around her metallic leg thing and then because Peg was so fat all the metal wasattracted to her and the gym leader's magnemite and Magneton were attracted to Peg (electrically not emotionally lol as if) and she swallowed them into her gaping Black Hole and won the battle.

'OKAY OKAY YOU WIN!' cried Madame Electric the electricity gym leader. 'Here is your Electric Badge!' she handed the metal badge to Peg but Peg simply shook her headsmiling and said:

'I'm sorry. I hate metal things so I can't accept this badge' she whispered whilst lovingly stroking her metal leg. Suddently she queefed big time and the Magnet pokemon came flying out and hit the local maternity hospital. It wasoverloaded with electricity and all incubators exploded and baby meat went flying everywhere.

'Veal! I love you guys!'

THE END.

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	4. Chapter 6

Team Sonshine headquartes inc. Firstwife Maria von Snatch was looking lovingly at her fucking foster-cunts and deciding which one was most likely to tell her where their step-sister Margauks was hiding all with her mother 'Mum'. These children were the children of the recently deceased Brittany Houston and they were all aryan and the eldest one was Liezel but they all called her Luce because she was 'loose'. She was the one from chapter two (hey Charmaine you'll remember her because she'sbased on that girl we know in real life and you said 'Lo hombre nachos! I want to be yust like her! I want to live in Ammeeeerriicaaa! lol Charmaine fuckin luv ya! I'll see you at world youth day Brazil)

Maria glowered at Liezel Luce and said 'Daughter! We need to plan World Youth Day Brazil! it is important for us and Koorong inc. to get our new age mormon pamphlets published because our leader Joseph Smith said we haff to oh wait he's dead I mean my husband the new leader Joe Bloggs.' With that she grabbed Luce's Ratatatatata and began to pull whiskers. One by one. With her bansai Pinsir.  
'Oh and Pinsir while you're down there please tidy up my Black Forest.'

Hearing these words, Peg who was 9999 steps away trying to hatch her Mystery Egg rushed over thinking there was some kind of cake (Black Forest) involved and was like 'Cream! Chocoalte! Jam! I LOVE YOU GUYS!' and she limped over to the looming dark Sunshine headquaters. A guard stopped her and said:  
'Hey you disgusting cripple whore I thought we exterminated all the cripples as they were a drain on society. I can just tell from looking at you that all you do is watch Stargate ALLLLDAAYYY LONG and spend all your parents money on Mocha and do a useless arts degree in English and Classical History and' his eyes quickly focussed on her peg 'don't even get me started on your lef I mean leg.'

Peg was offended and got ready to send out aPokemon tobattle the guy. Did you know that she had Pokemon? Well, she does. Here is how it happened.

'Hey, you poor unfortunate girl, how would you like to buy a Magikarp? It's only $500 and a Magikarp will have 100000 babies and you can sell all of them for $500 and etc. etc.'

'Well,you see, my parents didn't give me any money I managed to raid my money box for spare change. It's not quite $500, but if you don't mind $3 in 20c coins, I can give that to you. I'd feel horrible not being able to contribute at all. Is that okay?'

'WHATEVA YOU BERET WHORE! Maybe you should sellyour beret it totally doesn't look like it came from Plusover60YOU section of Target and if you throw that it'syours!'

'No. Fucking. Way. I'll trade you my virginity.'

'...'  
'Okay. I'll give you a gobby. I read about them online.'

'FINE! Take my pegleg! I'll roll everywhere instead!'

Peg took her Magikarp and rolled to the next town. As she rolled, the pokeballs she kept crushing Pokemons and the pokeballs she had attached to her XXXL Titanium girdle pressed onto the fainted pancake thangs and they were caught. Her party consisted of:

Magikarp, L5. Nidoran male, L5. Nidoran tranny, L6. Sentret, L5 (HAHA sentry Pokemon never saw THAT cuming!). Pidgey, L3 (lol she clippedthe flying Pokemon out of the air) and she also caught an amputated cock that was healed inside the ball and regrew into a man called Janer L2.0).

So she sent out Janer 2.0 and team Sunshine was like SCREAM OMG AN ASIAN and fainted from shock. Using Janer, Peg fought her way to the Black Forest and found out it was actually just Maria von Snatch's snatch but ate it anyway. This worked well for Mariah Carey von Snatch because she was actually a nigra (hence the black pubes) it's just that she got an irritated cunt if she kept dying the hair all the time and it is totes unwomanly to scratch down there and she also bleached her skin using one of Niggerprah's recommended treatments and hence she could marry Joe Bloggs and become firstwife to Team Sonshine.

'U WILL NEVA DEFEAT US! JUST WAIT TILL YOU HAVE GOT A FEWGYM BADGES! THEN WHEN YOU GO TO THE NEXT GYM WE WILL STAND INFRONT OF THE DOOR AND YOU WILL HAVE TO DEFEAT US IN A SIDEQUEST BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY YOU COULD JUST BATTLE THE ONE DUDE TO GET INTO THE GYM! NO MUAHAHAHA WE WILL STAND IN YOUR WAY!' cried Team sonshine Cunt i mean Grunt.

Peg philosophically licked her lips and recalled the last semester of Pokeuni. It did nothing except to make her look like a spazand she cuntinued on to the next LEG of her journey (LEG cause she doesn't have one. She was using her Nidorantranny as a steed. I use the pronoun 'her' very lightly. It was all actually a big tranny mess).

When she arrived at the next city which was called CuntmucusGreen Town a fortune teller stopped her.

'CROSS MY PALM WITH SILVER AND I SHALL REVEAL TO THEE THINE FUTURE!'

Peg gave her a copy of Pokemon Silver: the untold story of Peg and the fortune teller used her hacking machine to find out the storyline of the game.

'OKAY so basically you are going to have to fight the five wives of Joe Blogs. One is Maria von Snatch, the next is Mrs. 'Mum' Jizzradi, the next is dead so you're going to have to dig up her grave and beat up the dead corpse or something and then it will be Chloe Sevigny and finally it will be OH SHIT MY INTERNAL BATTERY RAN DRY. (AN: by that I mean imagination - soz Charmaine I don't know what that is in Spanish :S).

So Peg did it all! In her 'mind palace' that is which was at a premium because she had to do chores for her dad?or something. Her dad is dead. And her mum is absent. I guess that's why she couldn't afford to bring any money to class.

Speaking of class, she recalled from her English studies the inequality of WOMEN. As a 'woman' she decided it was her RIGHT to rape a man. So she went to the local forest and after catching a Weedle, she used it to Poison Sting bugcatcher Lawrence in the butt. A reporter saw the whole thing and posted on what he had seen. He also took a picture of Peg using the Weedle as a prosthetic penis when she raped the guy. The comments went something lke this.

YOU GO GURL IT'S ABOUT TIME WOMEN STARTED RAPING MEN!

That's fucked up. If a guy did that he'd go to prison for life.

YEAAAHHH GGGIIIRRRRLLLL FEMINISMSMSMSMSMSM!

WOW WHAT A GROSS PICTURE! IT LOOKS LIKE ELTON JOHN WHENEVER HE FUCKS HIS BOYFRIEND! CAUSE ELTON JOHN IS FAT AND I ASSUME HIS BOYFRIEND IS SKINNY AT LEAST NEXT TO HIM!

OMG BUGCATCHER LAWRENCE ShouLDTRY OUT FOR X FACTOR! He is obvo a stupid fag cunt and would do really well. Actually he should try out for I WILL SURVIVE. He sure is a triple threat. Triple threat as in he might rape your butt, your face or your eye socket.

THE END


	5. Chapter 100

'Now is the winter of our discuntent' Peg thought as she stroked her deserted vagina. Her vagina was a bit like a snow desert: so cold that the ice will never melt and hence dry as fuck. One time she tried to douche thinking it would be like dry ice but not even: the douche had stuck to her vagina and everyone at pokeversity thought she had a gross boner because she looked like a dude because of her fugly beret.  
Her period came out like a cherry snowcone.  
Since we last left our Pokemon journey, the latest Pokemon game had come out. It was called Pokemon Mocha. Peg was really excited because there was a new coffee-themed pokemon that changed form based on the bean. Peg went to the Starbucks Zone to catch all the variations.  
'Well I have caught 24 out of 25 of the coffee pokemon,' Peg mused, 'and I am just assuming the last one is a MOCHA pokemon because that is DEFINITELY a real type of coffee'. The truth was that Mocha is a type of coffee but not the type that Peg thought. She had tweaked the settings on her peg leg to detect blends of chocolate and coffee but all she had managed to detect so far was a wild ThoroughlyCaffeinatedRihanna .  
'Close enough' Peg tweeted on her useless fucking Twitter.  
'HAHAHHA YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND' NornornorJ23 Retweeted.  
She chased Rihanna with Pokeballs throwing them at her over and over in an attempt to capture her. Chris Brown got really jealous that Peg was having so much fun so he rollerskated over to join in. Unfortunately Peg had gotten bored and had taken off her leg so she could masturbate her bloody stump. Chris Brown tripped over the leg whilst travelling at 10000kmph and splatter into a nearby wall. Peg thought that it was a pancake Tuesday celebration mocha pancake and unhinged her jaw to eat it. It was pretty gross because I'm pretty sure she doesn't brush her teeth: I mean she would have mentioned it by now given she talks about every other fucking boring detail of her life. Like this one time she was reviewing a book which she 'had to stop reading because I had to go out' and 'it was late at night so I had to stop reading'. It's called drink a real coffee you virgin whore and then maybe you'll be able to stay awake.  
Isn't your twitter all about coffee and reading or are you actually just a lying bitch?  
The next day was Ash Wednesday and Peg had to decide to give something up for Lent. She couldn't give up sex because she never had any and never will have any unless it was with her conjoined twin that lived in her fourth roll of cottage cheese I mean fat.  
Finally she decided to give up lying and she did a very good job of it:  
'Hello gym leader! I am a crippled girl with awful opinions! You may think I am trying to push my tits together to get ahead in the gym world but it's actually my mum who buys my bras and she refuses to touch my tits to work out their size so it is never the right size I think she thinks it's lesbian for a mother to touch her daughters boobs but not even Trinny and Suzanna will touch them I am telling the truth when I say that they said 'not even with industrial grade rubber gloves that people use to handle plutonium' I GUESS I'M HOT STUFF' Peg muttered as she walked into the gym deliberately pushing her tits together to get ahead in the gym. Because she was 'hot stuff', she blazed right through the water gym even managing to manage herself into a sexy new bikini from the 'YouSnorlax' section of PokeBestAndLess.  
With the Moistbadge, Peg went to update her Pokebook. It was this social networking website where people pretty much just poke each other all day. Peg thought 'I am soooooooo popular so I'm going to limit my pokebook so not everyone will know what's going on in my real life. It's bad enough that my life biography was published on Yahoo answers:  
Okay I can totally understand why people would hate me for this but I came on here for answers, not insults. There's this kid that sits behind me in english and I HATE him, he's annoying, he's always poking me, he has that nazely voice, and he always comments on everything the teacher says, everything! He just thinks he's so funny, like if the teacher says "Have a nice weekend, stay out of trouble" he always says "well I can't make any promises" grrrrr! Now he keeps flirting with me, but he's one of those people who act mean and annoying to people when they like them. The thing is he has one leg that is skinnier and smaller than the other one, he wears a brace and special shoes. What do I do when he asks me out? Cuz not only am I not interested, I can't stand him! I wanna slap him that's how much he annoys me, but since he has a disabiltity that apparently makes me some sort of "monster". Well I can't help it okay? Just tell me what I should do then throw the rotten tomatoes!'.  
The only corrections to make to the story were that Peg was female and the cripple and the whole class actually lined up to throw rotten tomatoes at her, not the boy she kept poking. She was still licking her lips in delight.  
To celebrate winning at the gym, Peg thought it was time for her to lose some weight. She really wanted to go into class later that day, look at herself in the mirror, pout and then exclaim 'I THINK I'VE LOST WEIGHT' even though she probably hadn't.  
So she went to the industrial sauna. Unfortunately all the mocha she had ingested was all that came off in the sauna so she lost a lot of caffeine and passed out in the sauna. The caffeine evaporated into the atmosphere and turned into rain. It was exactly like chocolate rain but it wasn't it was actually exactly like caffeine rain.  
NornornorJrebeccaoldcunt PegMocha OMG IT IS RAINING CAFFEINE IN BALDIVIS U WOULD LOVE IT  
PegMocha NornornorJrebeccaoldcunt Actually no I would prefer if it rained MOCHA u old cunt what the fuck is wrong with you why are you even friends with me? Don't you know it is half your age plus seven and you are 40 and I am only 18 because I just did year 12 drama last year and we spent the WHHHOOOLLEEE time crawling!  
After that they stopped talking to each other.  
Everyone on twitter was like OMG R U OK (even though it wasn't ruok day)  
Not really, no. Just lost one of the very best friends I've ever had, and I have no idea what brought it on. I swore I would never let it happen again. Now it has (and at a REALLY bad time), and I just feel lost. :( I just hope she'll be okay, regardless of anything else. Maybe I'm in denial, but something must be seriously wrong. I think I'll be okay eventually. Stunned and hurt at the moment, but I'm much stronger than I was last time, and not alone. Most of my friends tend to be rather far away, but that's never mattered. :)  
Well it sure does matter when you always EAT YOUR FRIENDS because you will obviously go hungry now.  
HAHAHHAHA do they all live in Johto? She can't get the magnet train to see them because her leg keeps getting stuck to it.

~MOCHA~~...,,,-+++-ommmmnomnomnom.  
The end.


End file.
